Love Coach Blog

Happy New Year to you and I hope your year is off to a wonderful start. I know I am a bit late with this post and the greeting, yet the New Year is only 15 days old, so I hope you will forgive me.

On New Year’s Eve I was watching the Dick Clark special.

Never mind that not seeing Dick Clark till the end was sad, or that, when I did see him, his gaunt face broke my heart. There he was, the never-aging icon, suddenly aged by a stroke. Sure made me feel mortal. But I digress.

Ryan Seacrest was interviewing people on their New Year’s resolutions. I don’t know if the show was edited for this or if all the people Ryan picked had weight to lose, but everyone said their resolution was to lose weight. Apparently losing weight is one of the top ten resolutions people make for the new year.

I personally don’t make New Year’s resolutions any more. To me a resolution feels like hope of succeeding against the odds: “I hope to lose weight in the new year, but there is so much that stands in my way.”  That kind of hope implies fear. “I hope to lose weight in the new year, but I am afraid I won’t.” This is not a set-up for success, as fear almost always guarantees struggle and failure.

The way I look at it, if I want something deeply I don’t need to hope that it will happen. I will make it happen. The trick is to want what I want. Do you know what I mean? Let me give you a love-life example – I am the love coach after all.

Take a woman who wants to forget her ex, but at the same time also wants him back. She knows he isn’t good for her and that he will not take her back, yet she still wants him. But she also wants to let him go. This is crazy-making for her, until she gets to a place where she wants what she wants fully – to let the ex go and move on to another, healthier relationship.

In fact, I wonder if losing weight is really not the top New Year’s resolution. People say it is, but I also suspect that, to themselves, quietly, at the New Year people hope to have more love, or to finally get love, or to improve their relationship. As the song says, “Love makes the world go around.”

Did you secretly make a New Year’s resolution about love, too? If so, don’t just hope it comes true. Make sure it comes true – by first making sure that you want what you want fully, and then by taking positive steps to make it happen.

Here is one positive step that can help you right away if you are single – Daily Dose of Love Messages for Singles, that will help you train your mind to think positively about you and love.

From the Heart,