Comments on: Coaching Jodi to Attract a Relationship, Coaching Session #2

By: Adrienne

Adrienne — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 07:27:51 +0000

I too am attracted to not only the “unavailable man” but to the “bad guy”. And when someone is interested in men I run the other way whereas I prefer to do the chasing so in the end I end up with either being hurt or being too afraid to get into any sort of relationship with a man. I have been divorced for 7 years and have never had a successful relationship for a long period of time. The problem lies with me and I don’t know how to correct it. Its so frustrating. On the other hand I also enjoy being alone but miss the passion and sex. I get claustrophobic when I am in an intense situation and run.

By: Love Coach Rinatta Paries

Love Coach Rinatta Paries — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 07:04:17 +0000

Thanks everyone for chiming in. Dating unavailable people is a common trend in the singles world. Men have the same experiences with women - you may not hear that side of the story as much, but I certainly do hear it in my practice.

Here is what’s really going on with dating unavailable people. If you are an unavailable person magnet, it’s because it’s working for you to be that way. Figure out how it’s serving you and you will have the power to change it.

By: Jodi

Jodi — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 00:49:26 +0000

Looks like I am not alone.

I wonder if it is our compassionate nature or if we are fixerupper specialists? If so, I would like some recognition please. A degree maybe?! LOL

I am happy that I am on the road to higher educaton and have left fixerupper school behind!

By: Ann

Ann — Wed, 18 Jan 2006 09:24:10 +0000

My pattern is similar… I hang on as long as the guy seems distant or unavialable but chicken out if they start to reciprocate!

By: stacy

stacy — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 13:59:31 +0000

I too have experience with unavailable men. I think there is a deeper issue here. Jody may be drawn to these men in order to punish herself. Young girls who lack their father’s love may unconsciously believe they did something wrong. When you live in a desert any man can feel like water for awhile. The answer…learn to love yourself and then you won’t be attracted to men who are unable to love themselves and you. If you love yourself enough, unavailable men won’t even be attracted to you.

By: L ann

L ann — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 07:41:42 +0000

Nope, never fixed anyone and can not even fix myself but think maybe it is a safe feeling being abandoned. Most of us are independent and is this what we are seeking in reality..Seems my friends who have the most going for them are always the ones being dumped. Think the telling phrase in comment is “I was bored silly”

By: Nina Sanders

Nina Sanders — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 05:27:26 +0000

I identify with Jody and her abandonment issues.
I did fix my father it was wonderful to know that all the years he was cold to me he really did love me and was not able to show it. He demonstrated his love for me to the level he was capable of . Again ,it was not the father daughter relationship that all little girls dream of but I wasn’t a little girl any more.Of
course I keep on attracting daddy over and over again.
I did fix one other guy but it took 7 years and a lot of heartache. After 2 years with the new and improved version of him I was bored silly. I am a very lonely and frustrated woman.