Love Coach Blog

If you read Robert Bly and Robert Moore, you will learn that men need to go on a hero’s quest to claim their full masculinity.

These two insightful authors and countless others perceive the problems of men in our society as a lack of opportunity to grow up. There are no longer quests to fulfill. Men are no longer asked to grow in valor and strength of character, and they are no longer asked to mature emotionally.

I believe the current problems of men and women in relationships have something to do with a lack of hero’s journey in men’s lives. Not that women are completely innocent, as you will see as you read this article.

Women think nothing of pursuing men, putting up with bad relationship behavior. Women excuse men for being emotionally distant, physically and emotionally evasive, abusive, workaholic, unskilled relationally and generally hard to be in a love relationship with. Granted, not all men are hard to love, but many are, and many women and families, including men themselves, are suffering because of this and seeking a way to fix their relationship.

One of the things that would help men be more relational and create happier relationships would be to undertake a hero’s journey to intimacy.

Single Man’s Hero Journey

What can you do if you are a single man who’s been unlucky in love?

A single man’s hero journey to intimacy
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Below you will find the best of the best books on love and relationships, for both men and women. These are some of my favorite books, the ones I suggest to clients when they are working on their relationship or single life. These are also the books I turn to when navigating my own relationship and life.

Lately I have been re-reading many of these books and hearing from clients about them, and I thought I would share them with you:

The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real

This book is the manual for how to have a functional relationship and marriage, and a must-have for anyone in a relationship, good or not. It’s a great read for singles so that they know what to do once they are in a relationship.

Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody

Pia Mellody is one of the pioneers in personal recovery field. This book is one of the few on the market exposing love addiction and love avoidance. Don’t know what either one is? You are probably a love addict or a love avoidant yourself – as most people are. This book will help you see it and heal it, and will help you bring sanity to your relationship life.
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The following article was not written by me, but by my prosperity and abundance coach Jeanna Gabellini of www.masterpeacecoaching.com

When I feel like I can’t have what I want, and I am working too hard and getting nowhere, Jeanna is who I call. She has amazing energy and is an inspiring and powerful lady. She is very much in touch with laws of attraction and coaches within laws of attraction masterfully.

When Jeanna is struggling with relationships, I am the one she calls. She wrote the following article about one of our coaching sessions:

I’m going to be honest with you. The following material is not mine, but it’s so good I had to share it with you. It came straight from the mouth of the best expert I could find on relationships. Who is it? She is America’s #1 Love Coach, Rinatta Paries. She’s who I call when I need straight talk about relationships.

I feel like I’m about to give you a golden secret for communicating. You can use the following script with your mate, children, family, co-workers, employees and more. I’ll also show you how it works beautifully with the Law of Attraction.

Ready?
OK!

So let’s say you have a conflict that needs to be resolved. Maybe you’ve talked about the situation with the appropriate person with not-so-good results. Maybe you found yourself angry with a person but haven’t communicated at all with them. The very first thing that needs to happen is to breathe. Calm yourself. Intend that the situation will be resolved no matter what stage it is in currently. When you are not emotionally charged, request time to talk with the person you have an issue with. Then decide how you want to feel during the dialogue. For instance, you may choose to be calm, compassionate and grounded. Or you may choose to be light and unattached. Envision in your mind the way you’d like all this to play out. Now you are ready to dialogue.
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A client of mine was going through a very rough patch in her relationship. She wanted deep soulful connection and true partnership. He ran from the connection and she was angry with that most of the time. Even though this was a very obvious issue in the relationship, the man she was dating kept telling her that they just needed to “try to get along.”

They went to therapy to try to save the relationship, but he refused to look into his past for any clues as to why just getting along was enough and why he was refusing and running from the deep connection she was wanting. Because of this they tried to use the therapy to help them get along more and it didn’t help much.

This is how many people try to save their relationship – by trying harder to get along. What they don’t realize is that trying harder to get along does not work. Good intentions to get along or do better won’t work until both people stop and address the real issues in their relationship. The real issues in relationships are typically about not enough connection and always have their genesis in the past of each person.

So what do you do if you are struggling in your relationship, if you go from good to bad and back again, if you are trying to be connected and work it out, but can’t?

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