Love Coach Blog

The following article was not written by me, but by my prosperity and abundance coach Jeanna Gabellini of www.masterpeacecoaching.com

When I feel like I can’t have what I want, and I am working too hard and getting nowhere, Jeanna is who I call. She has amazing energy and is an inspiring and powerful lady. She is very much in touch with laws of attraction and coaches within laws of attraction masterfully.

When Jeanna is struggling with relationships, I am the one she calls. She wrote the following article about one of our coaching sessions:

I’m going to be honest with you. The following material is not mine, but it’s so good I had to share it with you. It came straight from the mouth of the best expert I could find on relationships. Who is it? She is America’s #1 Love Coach, Rinatta Paries. She’s who I call when I need straight talk about relationships.

I feel like I’m about to give you a golden secret for communicating. You can use the following script with your mate, children, family, co-workers, employees and more. I’ll also show you how it works beautifully with the Law of Attraction.

Ready?
OK!

So let’s say you have a conflict that needs to be resolved. Maybe you’ve talked about the situation with the appropriate person with not-so-good results. Maybe you found yourself angry with a person but haven’t communicated at all with them. The very first thing that needs to happen is to breathe. Calm yourself. Intend that the situation will be resolved no matter what stage it is in currently. When you are not emotionally charged, request time to talk with the person you have an issue with. Then decide how you want to feel during the dialogue. For instance, you may choose to be calm, compassionate and grounded. Or you may choose to be light and unattached. Envision in your mind the way you’d like all this to play out. Now you are ready to dialogue.
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A client of mine was going through a very rough patch in her relationship. She wanted deep soulful connection and true partnership. He ran from the connection and she was angry with that most of the time. Even though this was a very obvious issue in the relationship, the man she was dating kept telling her that they just needed to “try to get along.”

They went to therapy to try to save the relationship, but he refused to look into his past for any clues as to why just getting along was enough and why he was refusing and running from the deep connection she was wanting. Because of this they tried to use the therapy to help them get along more and it didn’t help much.

This is how many people try to save their relationship – by trying harder to get along. What they don’t realize is that trying harder to get along does not work. Good intentions to get along or do better won’t work until both people stop and address the real issues in their relationship. The real issues in relationships are typically about not enough connection and always have their genesis in the past of each person.

So what do you do if you are struggling in your relationship, if you go from good to bad and back again, if you are trying to be connected and work it out, but can’t?

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If you are single, you know the feeling of wanting to be held, touched, cherished; that need for passionate touch, comforting touch, any kind of touch – and the suffering that results from having no one to give you that touch.

It’s not so well-known that many married people and people in relationships also suffer from the unfulfilled need for touch, physical comfort and passion. Their story is different from that of singles, and the reasons for the absence of touch in their relationship may be varied, from a good relationship gone bad to health issues involving one of the spouses.

Most of us crave touch and can’t live well without it. Having to live without can be excruciating. So what does a person do when there is nobody to meet the need for touch? You learn to satisfy some of your craving for touch for and by yourself.

The truth is, until you are in a loving, long-term, touchy-feely, intimate relationship, your need for touch will not be completely satisfied. If that is not motivation to get your fanny out of your chair and resolve the relationship issues that are keeping you from having a loving, touchy-feely, long-term relationship, I don’t know what is.

The need for touch is very much like the need for food. You may satiate yourself for today, but tomorrow the need will arise again. Be prepared when the need arises daily. Pick a few suggestions below and practice them daily to keep your craving for touch at bay. Reducing your craving for touch will make it easier for you to make better relationship choices.
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Is your relationship or marriage gasping for breath? Well, before you leave or stray to find a third person to meet your needs, try these steps to breathe life back into your relationship:

1. Find out which one of you is avoiding love and intimacy, and why

Who spends more time avoiding the other, making excuses for why you spend no time together or picking fights so that there is no time together? If one or both of you do this, you need to find out why.

Talk to each other in an honest, non-argumentative, non-judgmental way to see if you can figure out why you are trying to get away from each other instead of trying to get closer to each other. After all, you got into the relationship to be close, not to be distant.

Closeness will feed your heart and make you happy, while being distant saps your energy. Closeness may feel risky, but being distant will kill the relationship. Choose closeness.

To learn how to have a non-judgmental, non-argumentative conversation with each other get the Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship ecourse.

2. Start planning time together that both of you are obligated to show up for

Yes, planned time together sounds unromantic and unspontaneous. Neither one of you will get the thrill of being swept off your feet. But if your relationship is in the dumps
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