Love Coach Blog

Take a look at a great article on how parents affect your love life. I am one of the experts feature in the article. Parents effect not only your relationship behavior, but your partner choices, how you behave under stress and what you are willing and unwilling to put up with in a relationship. Kudos to sassybean.com for broaching this subject.

The article suggests you look at healthy couples for new role models, and that is a great start. And to definitively break the relationship mold created for you by your parents, you have to do much more work than that. This is one thing I work on extensively with clients, as redesigning your emotional life™ and is seldom navigated successfully without support.

From the Heart,
Love Coach Rinatta

If you read Robert Bly and Robert Moore, you will learn that men need to go on a hero’s quest to claim their full masculinity.

These two insightful authors and countless others perceive the problems of men in our society as a lack of opportunity to grow up. There are no longer quests to fulfill. Men are no longer asked to grow in valor and strength of character, and they are no longer asked to mature emotionally.

I believe the current problems of men and women in relationships have something to do with a lack of hero’s journey in men’s lives. Not that women are completely innocent, as you will see as you read this article.

Women think nothing of pursuing men, putting up with bad relationship behavior. Women excuse men for being emotionally distant, physically and emotionally evasive, abusive, workaholic, unskilled relationally and generally hard to be in a love relationship with. Granted, not all men are hard to love, but many are, and many women and families, including men themselves, are suffering because of this and seeking a way to fix their relationship.

One of the things that would help men be more relational and create happier relationships would be to undertake a hero’s journey to intimacy.

Single Man’s Hero Journey

What can you do if you are a single man who’s been unlucky in love?

A single man’s hero journey to intimacy
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Below you will find the best of the best books on love and relationships, for both men and women. These are some of my favorite books, the ones I suggest to clients when they are working on their relationship or single life. These are also the books I turn to when navigating my own relationship and life.

Lately I have been re-reading many of these books and hearing from clients about them, and I thought I would share them with you:

The New Rules of Marriage by Terrence Real

This book is the manual for how to have a functional relationship and marriage, and a must-have for anyone in a relationship, good or not. It’s a great read for singles so that they know what to do once they are in a relationship.

Facing Love Addiction by Pia Mellody

Pia Mellody is one of the pioneers in personal recovery field. This book is one of the few on the market exposing love addiction and love avoidance. Don’t know what either one is? You are probably a love addict or a love avoidant yourself – as most people are. This book will help you see it and heal it, and will help you bring sanity to your relationship life.
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Dear Reader, your almost-to-be ex-partner has treated you badly. You have been neglected, unappreciated, rejected, not communicated with. You may have been cheated on. You have been unsupported. You have been abandoned. You have been reacted to badly over and over again. You have been forced into agreeing to and doing things you have resented. You have been forced to ask for the love you used to get and clearly deserve. You have been frozen out and avoided. You have been asked for space when no more space could possibly be taken. You have been asked to have neither needs nor wants. You have been asked to live without intimacy and yet be willing to meet your partner’s needs when he or she wanted you. You have been put low on the priority list. You have been asked to put up with unacceptable behavior and accept it. You have ended up in a relationship that is painful, when all you wanted was love, kindness and happiness.

The above may sounds drastic to you. You may be about to say that you have put up with almost nothing from the above list. Perhaps you are right, and your relationship is not this bad. Still, if you have found yourself unhappy in your relationship, I would like to give you advice and coaching to help you cope, be happier and more at peace regardless of what’s going on in your relationship.
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