Ever heard of a relationship pattern?  A relationship pattern is a set of negative events that repeats in your relationship(s) on a regular basis.

For example, if you are single woman, you may have a pattern of attracting unavailable men. These men may not seem unavailable when you meet them, may in fact seem to be people who are very much interested in a relationship, but yet within a short time turn out to be unavailable. You don’t go into a new dating situation intending to attract an unavailable man; in fact, you intend to attract only available once. Yet that is what happens repeatedly and you are seemingly helpless to stop it.

If you are coupled, perhaps you have a pattern of interacting in a certain way with your partner that creates distance or withdrawal either on your or his part. You most certainly don’t go into the interaction intending to create this pattern, and yet that is what happens and you are seemingly helpless to stop it.

Everyone has a relationship patterns, but did you know how these patterns are developed? They are developed in childhood and are based on your parents’ interaction with you. This is how your past still runs your love life.

The pattern of whom you attract or partner with is influenced by how you perceived the parent of the opposite sex parented you. The worst the parenting felt to you, the worst your partner choices as an adult.

The pattern of how you interact in a relationship is influenced and modeled on your observations of your parents interaction with each other. Specifically, you will tend to model your relationship behavior on your same sex parent’s behavior. The more stress you observed or sensed in your parents relationship, the worst your own relationships will be.

Alternatively, if your parents relationship with each other had no stress, you will tend to have a Pollyanna type view of relationships, expecting the relationship to flow smoothly and ignoring relationship stress until it’s too late.

So what are your relationship patterns and what can you do to change them?

To help you discover your relationship patterns I created a PatternTracker e-class that will take you through the process of ferreting them out. Working through the PatternTracker e-class will help you uncover the patterns behind your seemingly random partner choices and relationship behavior.

To learn what you can do about your relationship patterns,  listen to a radio show below. I was a guest on the Relationship RX show. The host of the show, Coach Lisa Hayes and I talked about all aspects of relationship patterns.

Recently I have been working with a couple of clients who are stuck in wanting their no longer interested ex partners back. The ex partners are done with the relationship in both cases, but my clients do not want to let go.

To make it worst, they have much pain about not wanting to let go and take many actions to stop the letting go process. One of the clients who’s doing this contacts the man she used to be in a relationship with constantly, wanting to connect with him. His responses range from anger at her reaching out to compassion while asking her to be strong and move on with her life.

Another client does not contact her ex, but responds when the ex reaches out to her. Unfortunately, he never reaches out to reconnect, just to touch base on the phone, by text and email. They have no seen each other in many months.

These clients are stuck in that they do not want to let the relationship go. They would rather hold on to the fantasy that it can still be revived somehow, even thought their ex-partners are giving them no indication at all that revival of the relationship is possible.

What do I mean? If a person is considering getting back together with you, or trying again, they will let you know. They will call and say “I have been thinking about you” or “I miss you.” They will schedule a time to see you and talk to you. They will try to sort through issues that lead to the breakup. There will be clear indications that they want to reconcile or at least try to reconcile.

This is not the case in the situations my clients are in. There are no indications at all that their partners want reconciliation. Yet, there’s still the “I don’t want to let go” on the part of my clients.

I have been thinking about how to help both of them and other people in the same “I don’t want to let go” situation and here are my thoughts. Sometimes people hold on to a relationship because if they let go, they are letting go of any chance for their partner to heal for them the wrongs and wounds of the relationship. In other words, if I let go of a partner who hurt me, he will never have the chance to make the pain he caused me right by me.

I think that is what’s going on here. These women (and I have coached men in the same situation) are holding on to their ex hoping that the ex will make up somehow for the hurt caused in the relationship, will somehow make it right. And some exes do reach back and make things right and some exes reconcile and go on to live together happily ever after.

But in this situation, the exes are showing no inclination to either reconcile or make things right, at all, and it has been like this for a long time. So how do I get my clients unstuck and be willing to let go of their ex? And if you are in the same situation, how can you get unstuck, stop trying to revive a dead relationship and move on with your life?

Forgiveness.

If you are able to forgive the person who hurt you, you no longer need to wait for the person to rite their wrongs. If they make amends and make things better, great. But your life is no longer on hold, no longer waiting for your ex to make things better for you. If you forgive, you are free.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them. It is a way of releasing yourself from the need for your ex to do anything to make you feel better. And there’s no requirement that you forget, but simply forgive, as in let go of the holding on of the pain, and the holding the other person responsible for your happiness. See them as having done the best they could, even if it was very worst for you. It was still the best they could do. And let go.

That is what I told my clients. Forgive your ex and in forgiving, let go of the relationship and be free to go on with your life. Say “I forgive you and let you go.” And keep saying it until you mean it. It seems to be working for them and perhaps it will work for you.

If you are dealing with a breakup, you may also want to read the following articles:

• Dealing with Heartache – Here’s Relief
• How To Let Your Ex Go

Divorce is hard, especially with kids involved. And no matter how mutual and even non-adversarial the divorce may have been, it still leaves emotional scars that are often carried forward into new relationships. But you can become baggage free after divorce, if you are willing to do the work.

Specifically, the work of becoming baggage free involves taking a hard, long look back at your marriage and then taking the lessons learned forward into your new life.

I am going to show you how you can leave the baggage behind, but take wisdom forward in 5 steps.

Step 1: Uncover what happened in your marriage or who did what?

Can you nail what actually happen to your marriage in a way that feels deeply authentic to you? Can you put responsibility where it is due? Oh, I know, most experts will tell you all relationships are 50/50 and it’s hard to tell who did what. But the reality is, if you don’t know what you did to contribute to the breakup of your marriage, or what your partner did, how will you prevent it from happening again?

For example, one client I worked with had to work hard on figuring out what happened to his marriage until he recognized that at a very stressful period in the marriage he refused to meet his wife’s needs. She turned into a witch as a result and this dynamic unraveled their marriage.

Perhaps your story is different, but what ever your story maybe, you need to get to the bottom of it to be free of it. So go ahead and write down what happened to your marriage, and what you and your spouse contributed to the breakdown.

Step 2: Make amends where needed

Given your assessment of what happened in your marriage, whom do you need to say you are sorry to and about what? If it’s feasible an apology should be made in person. A heart-felt apology can go a long way to healing the strain with your ex.

On the other hand, if the apology would make things more strained, write a letter of apology and keep it in your private documents. Perhaps one day there will be a time to deliver it, or perhaps not, but you will have released some of the guilt over your actions and that goes a long way to dropping your baggage.

Dig deep when it comes to apology. The more you own your part, the better you will feel.

Step 3: What do you need?

What would your ex have to say to you in order for you to have peace about the relationship with him or her? What words of apology or forgiveness would you need to hear?

How about writing yourself a letter from your ex saying those things? It’s not exactly the same as your ex doing it for you, but you will be surprised how healing this can be.

Our brains can often be fooled into thinking and acting as if they are experiencing something real, even when it’s simulated. Write the letter form your ex to you and as you read it, imagine that he or she sent it to you. Your brain might think that is actually what’s going on. Take in the apology and allow some heart healing. This will give you less baggage to take forward.

Step 4: Lessons learned

What did you learn about yourself and relationships from your divorce? Here are some questions to answer, best done in writing, to extract lessons learned:

•    What did you see but ignore about your marriage or even your pre-marital relationship with your ex at the very beginning?
•    What did you learn about men/women and what they need in a relationship?
•    What did you learn about yourself and what you need in a relationship?
•    What would you have done differently if you could go back?
•    What other questions can you ask yourself to extract lessons learned? Do it!

Step 5: Who do you need

Everyone is not compatible with everyone else. Liking someone’s look or body does not always signal compatibility. Both people being single parents or similar lifestyles does not necessarily means there’s compatibility in a way that matters long term.

Do you know who you need to be in a relationship with? The “need” I am talking about are relationship-specific needs such as communication style – do you talk things through or do you hold them in, or the need for closeness – wanting to be close all the time vs wanting lots of space and some closeness. Great relationships that work easily with the least amount of stress often happen between people who match each other on relationship-specific needs.

So do you know what you need in a relationship when it comes to intimacy, communication, team work, space, closeness? If not, it’s time to find out. Yes, you guessed it, more writing. Make a written list of what you need in a relationship. If you are not sure what traits are important or what traits fall into the relationship-specific category, you can get my ebook called Who Do You Need to help you flesh that information out.

Once you figure out who you need to be in a relationship with, go back and rate your ex partner to see where the incompatibilities between the two of you were. Chuck that up to lessons learned and learn from it. Incompatibility in relationship styles means the difference between happily ever after and divorce.

And now, if you did the steps I outlined above, you are pretty much baggage free. This means you can take your list of whom you need to be in a relationship with, go out and find that wonderful man or woman, when you are ready, and live your version of relationship bliss.

And if you need help working through these steps effectively – most people do – I will be glad to hold your hand and lead the way as your relationship coach. Drop me a line and let’s talk about how I can help you.

We experience emotional pain as physical pain, as has been discovered by recent research. This means that when you are experiencing heartache, your heart actually does hurt – well, perhaps not your heart, but something in your body does hurt and badly. You knew this already, because when you feel heartache or anxiety or frustration, it hurts.

In my practice I have noticed people often have a very low tolerance for this pain of heartache – they want to make it go away as fast as possible. And I can understand this. When you have a headache, you want to take an aspirin and if you body hurts, you want to rest, sleep or go to the doctor to find out what’s wrong.

It’s true – physical pain often does indicate something is wrong with out bodies. Emotional pain is different however, even if we experience it physically. The best way to deal with emotional pain is to feel it, without making it better, because on the other side of feeling that pain are great gifts.

In order to understand exactly what I mean, let’s first look at how we behave when we are in pain.

Since physical pain is indication of something gone wrong in the body, you might feel some anxiety or worry about having the pain. You may wonder if you are ok. You want the pain to stop and wonder if and when it will stop, and try to make a plan for how to end it.

Same thing happens with emotional pain. You may feel heartbreak or loneliness or even frustration and wonder if you are going to be ok. You feel anxiety about the pain and wonder if the pain will ever stop and if you are going to survive it.

The interesting thing is that you do survive it, every time.

Think about the last time you felt emotional pain. Perhaps the last time was about a second ago, or perhaps a fairly long time, regardless, put yourself back there for a moment. Now let me ask you a question. Was your body ok while you were feeling that pain? Were any parts of you bleeding or falling off? Were you able to feel emotional pain, but still go to the bathroom, walk and talk?

Emotional pain is not like physical pain. It can be debilitating in that it can take away your desire to do things such as eat, walk, talk, function, but it does not prevent you from actually doing those things. While physical pain is sometimes a signal that something is very wrong, this is not exactly the case with emotional pain. That is why you do not need to be afraid of emotional pain. It is not going to kill you. It is not going to cripple you. It is not going to blind you. It does hurt, but with no real harm to your body.

Emotional pain is different from physical pain in another way. Physical pain often needs outside intervention to make it go away. You may need to take pain reliever, change your diet, go see a doctor, have an operation, bandage the hurt part, etc. Emotional pin will go away if you feel it. Often you have to do nothing else. But if you do not feel, it can linger for a lifetime while you take many actions to avoid feeling it.

This means that when you feel anxiety about feeling heartache and worry about how you are going to make it go away and try to make plans about how you are going to alter circumstance and situations and people so that you stop feeling pain, stop. Remind yourself that nothing bad will happen if you feel pain and it will subside after you allow yourself to feel it. You don’t need to do anything to deal with emotional pain. Instead, you need to be with it.

Deal with emotional pain by delving into it, making friends with it, feeling it until it stops and you are on the other end of it. If you able to do this, there will be gold on the other end.

Here is the gold at the end of emotional pain. Imagine the freedom you would have if you were no longer afraid of feeling emotional pain. If you are single you might be willing to get out there and date more, because you would know you can tolerate the pain of rejection and the pain of not meeting the right person. Or perhaps you would get single and happy, knowing that you could tolerate the pain of loneliness.

If you were in a relationship that wasn’t going fast enough you would either be more patient because you know you could tolerate the pain of waiting, or you would get out because you know that you could tolerate the pain of letting go and being alone.

If you are married or in a long term relationship, you would perhaps speak up for yourself more because you knew that you could tolerate the pain of your partner’s rejection or his or her displeasure with you. Or perhaps you would get closer to your partner because you knew that you can tolerate the anxiety you feel at allowing someone close to you.

If you were going through a breakup or a divorce you could allow the relationship to end because you would know you can tolerate the grief and sorrow of letting go and the temporary loneliness.

Do you see the power you could have over your emotional life if you were able to tolerate emotional pain rather than being afraid of it? It can be truly astounding how much easier and more peaceful life becomes when you are no longer afraid of feeling pain.

It’s true that no one wants to feel emotional pain, but as it is a part of life and unavoidable, better to know that you can tolerate it and get through it then to be afraid of it.

Now for the specifics of how to tolerate emotional pain. Try the mediation below the next time you are suffering from heartache. You can use the meditation once a day, many times a day, or pick a favorite line and use it as constant mantra to help you cope with pain. Or perhaps use this mediation as a template and create a few lines that fit your circumstances best. Feel free to leave your version below in comments.

(I have loosely based this mediation on meditations from the Blooming of a Lotus by Thich Nhat Hanh)

Instructions: simply read this to yourself slowly and breathe.

Feeling pain in my heart, I breath in.
Suffering from the pain in my heart, I breath out.

Feeling my heart breaking, I breathe in.
Feeling as if my heart will break in two, I breathe out.

Feeling the pain is too great to live with, I breathe in.
Feeling as if the pain is going to swallow me up, I breathe out.

Feeling hurt, I breathe in.
Finding hurt where I want love, I breathe out.

Feeling frustration and anger, I breathe in.
Feeling frustration and anger boiling inside, I breathe out.

Wanting things to be different, I breathe in.
Wanting to change him/her, I breathe out.

Wanting attention, I breathe in.
Craving attention, I breathe out.

Wanting gentle touch, I breathe in.
Wanting loving touch, I breathe out.

Feeling I am not good enough, I breathe in.
Seeing nothing good about me, I breath out.

Feeling shame about my body, I breathe in.
Feeling that I am unlovable, I breathe out.

Feeling that no one loves me, I breathe in.
Suffering from not feeling loved, I breathe out.

Feeling frustration, I breathe in.
Feeling fear, I breathe out.

Being afraid that nothing will ever change, I breather in.
Wanting love in my life, I breathe out.

Feeling fear that I will not have what I want, I breathe in.
Feeling fear and anxiety, I breathe out.

Noticing that I am ok, I breathe in.
Noticing that I am ok, I breathe out.

Do you want help dealing with your heartache? I am here to support, comfort and guide you in both learning how to master and tolerate your pain and in actively re-arranging your love life so that it has as little pain as possible and is mostly full of happiness and love. Contact me for a coaching session now.

I want to tell you about a recent couple I coached. I will tell you about them because I want you to see what gets most couples into trouble. I want you to see how easily this trouble can begin to be resolved, with good knowledgeable help. And finally, I want you to see that without this help, the couple in question – and perhaps your own relationship – will surely head towards break up, divorce or just intolerable and painful distance.

I was contacted by a gentleman in desperation, saying he has never worked with a Love Coach before, but was willing to do anything to save his marriage. His wife had just asked him for a divorce. He and I met on the phone for a one-hour coaching session, during which we discovered why his marriage was on the brink of divorce and what he can do to save it.

He and his wife, like most couples, ignored each others needs. Ignoring each others needs sounds benign, but it is deadly to a relationship. In his marriage, she would tell him what she needed and he would do other things or nothing, but not what she needed. In turn, out of anger and disappointment, she stopped doing things for him that he needed. And that’s how they ended up on the brink of divorce.

In our one hour coaching session I helped the husband realize that he was ignoring his  wife’s very clearly stated needs and that it was costing him everything. I helped him see why her needs were important to her and what he should do to meet them, now.

When your partner tells you he or she needs something, I told him, it is not a mere request, nor a wish, nor a suggestion. By the time a person speaks out about a need, you can be sure that the need is near critical. Without this need being met by you, your partner will no longer be able to maintain a relationship with you as you know it and want it. In time your relationship will unravel because of this dynamic. You must make every effort to hear your partner’s needs and every effort to meet them. At the same time, you must make every effort to speak up about your needs and ask that they be met.

The gentlemen said he felt enlightened at the end of our call. Indeed he must have gotten enlightened, because next I got the pleasure of coaching his wife.

The wife and I talked about her needs. What they are, why they are, and mostly we talked about the fact that it is critical that she face up to her needs and openly and repeatedly ask for what she needs. Like most women in particular and people in general, she admitted that clearly asking for what she wants is foreign and difficult for her. Like most people, she would ask for something a few times and having not gotten it, she would give up, get resentful and stop giving as much to him. I coached her to make it clear to her husband that her needs are not just requests – they are a necessity in order for her to remain the loving woman her husband married. She took the coaching in stride and seemed to understand what she has to do to set her marriage right.

I don’t know how they are doing, as I have not heard from them yet. It will take them some time to learn how to relate to each other in a new way and they will very likely need more support from me, more coaching sessions together and separately before they are on solid ground with each other. I do know that the work we did together helped them set their marriage on the right course – the path of making them both happy, together. And about that I am very excited!

I want you to know that if your relationship or marriage is not working, if you are on the brink of break up or divorce, there is help and there is hope. I want you to get that help if you need it instead of hoping the issue(s) will just work themselves out. Love is precious and it is worth every effort and those issue will never just work themselves out. If you want help for your relationship, contact me so that I can help you.

In my search to accelerate personal and relationship growth for clients, I have been sampling guided-visualization CDs and MP3s. I have probably tested at least 30 different guided meditation CDs and have finally come up with a list of five that I highly recommend to anyone trying to patch up a difficult relationship or working on attracting “the one.”

Below is a list of the CDs, and coaching on how I suggest you use each one. If you are searching for a way to heal your heart and improve your relationship and love life, I suggest you give these a try. I think you will find them enormously helpful.

1. Guided meditation CD to erase bad memories and rewrite your past: this CD will, over time, help you literally erase bad memories and rewrite your past. I suggest you use this meditation to deal with painful childhood memories that may be affecting your adult relationships. If you are not sure which memories are affecting you or which memories to work on, get this short, self-study e-class to flesh out that information, then go through this guided meditation about 10 times. Use tracks 1 through 4 of this CD for this specific purpose. The combination could literally heal your heart.

2. Guided meditation CD to heal negative self-talk: this CD, when used over time, will heal any negative self-talk or negative views of yourself. The meditation is very subtle, but very powerful, increasing in effect over time.

3. Guided meditation CD to help you overcome negative beliefs: use this CD after you have used the CD’s above and/or if you already know what beliefs hold you back and need to be changed. This meditation will help you seed new, more positive and helpful beliefs deep into your subconscious so that you can see them bloom in your life. New beliefs equal less heartache and more healing.

4. Guided meditation CD to help you grow healthy relationship skills: this CD is great for a person currently experiencing relationship conflict with a partner or ex-partner and wanting to grow healthy relationship skills. Tracks 1 through 4 will help you look at the conflict from different perspectives and come up with alternative ways of interacting with the other person. Tracks 5 through 8 are great at starting to instill healthy relationship behavior that will help you avoid heartache in the future. You will become more relationally intelligent as a result of listening.

5. Guided meditation CD to help you experience your ideal relationship now: I can not say enough about this particular guided mediation CD. It is truly amazing. The guided meditation actually leads you through visualizing and experiencing your healthy, wonderful, ideal relationship. You will experience being transported into the future, where you already have the love you want. This guided meditation is very powerful, very soothing and perfect for practicing the Law of Attraction for your relationship.

In combination, these five guided meditation CDs can be powerful aids for healing your heart and transforming your relationships. I highly recommend them to anyone dealing with relationship issues.

If you find you need support in how to use these meditations to help accelerate your relationship growth, or you would like to be personally guided on how to deeply transform your relationship life so that you can finally have the love you want, I will be glad to support you as your coach.

The Oprah show did a segment yesterday on a new book by M. Gary Neuman called The Truth About Cheating, where he details the research he did about why men cheat.

I did not watch this Oprah segment, but a client sent me an email today alerting me to the free book download. You can go download a free copy of this book until 7 pm PST today, Friday the 12th here.

I have so far read 35 pages of the book and I like it, except for one thing… Now maybe M. Gary Neuman goes into this later in his book, I don’t know yet, and I am sure you will let me know below in the comments, but there’s this…

In his research he discovered that a man will most likely cheat if he feels unappreciated and unloved by his wife. This is absolutely true and I have been telling clients that for years. The reason anyone has an affair is because their needs are not getting met in their primary relationship and most often, these needs are emotional rather than physical.

At the same time, why are women not appreciating the men that then end up cheating? In most cases it’s not because the wife is simply a b-itch, but it’s because the man is behaving badly, is not stepping up to the plate in the marriage, or is not being loving and appreciative of her.

So it’s a vicious cycle. The man stops being as a good a partner he once used to be, or the marriage becomes a family and the man does not step up to his share of the responsibilities and being there. The wife feels less appreciative and loving because she feels less supported, cared for and loved. The man feels less appreciated and eventually may go out and find a girlfriend to make him feel better about himself.

This also applies to long term relationships that are not marriages and also applies to women who end up cheating.

So how are you supposed to negotiate the murky waters of relationships so as to avoid the devastation of cheating in your relationship? I don’t yet know if The Truth About Cheating goes into this, but here is my 4 step plan.

1. Appreciate what you husband/partner is doing for you, your family, around you, regardless of what else he may not be doing. This may be hard, but you would want it done for you, and it will preserve the love in your marriage/relationship.

2. If there are things that bother you about what your partner is doing or not doing, how he/she is treating you or not treating you, ask for change in a loving, respectful way. Ask for change repeatedly if it is important to you.

3. If you need to, get professional help as an individual or a couple to try to help your partner make the changes necessary to help you both be happier with each other. You may also need to make changes to function better in your relationship.

4. If there are problems in your marriage or relationship, things you have repeatedly asked him (or her) to change and the change is not forthcoming, make a choice. Choose between:

(a) Make peace with your partner as he/she is because obviously there is not going to be the change you want. That means you let go of what you want completely and make peace with what is.

(b) Leave because you can not live with the marriage/relationship and your partner the way things are and obviously there is not going to be the change you want

Affairs happen when both partners can not make peace with how things are, but can not leave. The non-cheating partner can not make peace with how she is being treated and retaliates by trying to make her husband feel bad about his unwillingness to change his behavior.

And he does feel bad and can’t live with feeling bad. Instead of encouraging change in him, feeling bad drives him into the arms of another woman.

You may think it should not be this way, but it is.

That is why it is so important to pick a partner who can most naturally give you what you want in a relationship, so that you do not have to pull teeth to get your needs met. If you happen to be single and you want to make sure that your next partner is highly compatible with you, get my Who Do You Need eCourse, which will help you figure out just whom you need to be in a relationship with.

And secondarily, that is why it is so important to deal with relationship problems and issues as soon as they occur, rather than letting them fester and grow worst. I don’t yet know what tips this affair book has for improving marriage, but I am sure they are great. And if you want more good ideas that will work to improve your marriage, take a look at three ebooks I have crated for marriage improvement.

Are you having a hard time believing that you can have a wonderful, deeply satisfying, loving relationship? Do you think thoughts that make it impossible for you to believe that your dreams of true love will ever come true? Do you wish life was different; people were different, so that you can have the relationship you have always dreamed of?

By now you have been exposed to enough ideas about law of attraction to realize that you should think positively. If I told you it would be a good idea to think that you can and will attract the right partner or that you can get more love in your current relationship, you would agree with me.

But you might ask, as many of my clients do, “How can I think positively, when what I see around me are people who are not a good fit for me? How am I ever going to find the kind of relationship I want? How am I ever going get my partner to turn around his or her behavior and love me the way I want to be loved?”

And I will tell you, the way I tell my clients, that you see what you think – NOT see and then think. Something in your past, likely in your childhood, set you up to think that you can’t have love, or that all men or women are this way or that, or that you don’t ever want to get that close to someone, etc. And those thoughts became the things you see. That is why, when you look around, you only see what you already think. And there’s work to be done on changing your mind. And that that’s the kind of work we can do in coaching. Curious about coaching? See here.

But I will also tell you that you need to start retraining your mind to see the world differently, and learn to see what you want to see. The way to do this is to reprogram your thoughts. You need to flood your mind with as much positive information as you can daily. Listen daily to books and courses on positive thinking, the law of attraction, expending your potential, achieving your dreams! Do you work out, commute, grocery shop, vacuum, do the dishes or laundry, needle point, walk? All of these and any other tasks that use your body but not your mind are a great time to feed yourself positive information. Feed your brain messages of possibility so that you can more easily tune into the love you want.

Here are audios I recommend to my clients to feed their brain:

1. A course on creating the life you want. Here is a very powerful audio program to teach you exactly how to attract what you want. It’s not cheap, but well worth every penny and it tops 12 hours of very powerful audio.

2. Get this unabridged audio CD set to learn the ins and out of law of attraction. It is well worth it, even if you have seen the Secret movie or read the book, because you can’t always read or watch, but you can almost always listen. Listen to this audio about 40 times all the way through before you assume you got the information fully.

3. Get this audio cd set to learn what your emotions mean, how to use them to get the love you want, and use them to tap into the law of attraction.

4. Get this program to help you see what a healthy, vital, deeply loving relationship looks like – so that you know what you are going for – and to learn about some of the ways to get there. This particular program is not cheap, but well worth every penny.

With these four courses/audio books, you will have about 40 hours of super-positive, uplifting, brain-feeding and life-changing information. Listen to something on this list daily, for at least 30 to 60 minutes, or add some of your favorite resources to the list. Do this for a month and notice the difference you start to see in the world around you in terms of whom you see and what you begin to believe is possible. And then keep listening.

Go! And below please share other resources that help you think positively and believe you can attract the love of your life or get more love in your relationship.

Are you just starting your journey through divorce or have been on the divorce road for a while? Divorce is a difficult, fearful journey, and you should not have to go it alone. But many people do.

I can’t think of a situation more painfully gut-wrenching than impending divorce. When you are going through something like this, you almost need to be carried, as your own legs often won’t carry you willingly forward.
And that is what is often lacking for people going through divorce – a community of people who are going through the same experience. The experience of having to face the reality that your marriage is about to dissolve and that you are going to have to face life – and in many cases parenting – alone.

That is why I am creating a Divorce Support Group, with teleconference calls with experts from many fields to give you information and resources you need, an online forum to vent and build friendships, and support and coaching teleconference calls to help you move from pain to healing and eventually joy.

I can’t create a free support group, but I will work on making the cost low. I am shooting for about $1 a day. If that is too much for some folks, I will work on making sponsorships and scholarships available.

But before the Divorce Support Group becomes a reality, I need your help. In order for me to create a powerful group that will deeply meet your needs, I need to know what you need!

Can you tell me what you need? I am looking for what would be the most helpful right now for you, what questions you want answered, which aspects of your life could use the most healing and support.

If you tell me what you need here, I will tailor the Divorce Support Program to your requests and update you on the program as I develop it.

What’s wrong with your relationship or with your lack of relationship? How miserable are you about what’s wrong? What if what’s wrong brought you happiness instead of misery? Try this: next time you see something is wrong, say “Hmm, I don’t like that. What I would like instead is ….” Take a good long time to describe what you would like instead and bask in the deliciousness of it. You will feel good.