In my search to accelerate personal and relationship growth for clients, I have been sampling guided-visualization CDs and MP3s. I have probably tested at least 30 different guided meditation CDs and have finally come up with a list of five that I highly recommend to anyone trying to patch up a difficult relationship or working on attracting “the one.”

Below is a list of the CDs, and coaching on how I suggest you use each one. If you are searching for a way to heal your heart and improve your relationship and love life, I suggest you give these a try. I think you will find them enormously helpful.

1. Guided meditation CD to erase bad memories and rewrite your past: this CD will, over time, help you literally erase bad memories and rewrite your past. I suggest you use this meditation to deal with painful childhood memories that may be affecting your adult relationships. If you are not sure which memories are affecting you or which memories to work on, get this short, self-study e-class to flesh out that information, then go through this guided meditation about 10 times. Use tracks 1 through 4 of this CD for this specific purpose. The combination could literally heal your heart.

2. Guided meditation CD to heal negative self-talk: this CD, when used over time, will heal any negative self-talk or negative views of yourself. The meditation is very subtle, but very powerful, increasing in effect over time.

3. Guided meditation CD to help you overcome negative beliefs: use this CD after you have used the CD’s above and/or if you already know what beliefs hold you back and need to be changed. This meditation will help you seed new, more positive and helpful beliefs deep into your subconscious so that you can see them bloom in your life. New beliefs equal less heartache and more healing.

4. Guided meditation CD to help you grow healthy relationship skills: this CD is great for a person currently experiencing relationship conflict with a partner or ex-partner and wanting to grow healthy relationship skills. Tracks 1 through 4 will help you look at the conflict from different perspectives and come up with alternative ways of interacting with the other person. Tracks 5 through 8 are great at starting to instill healthy relationship behavior that will help you avoid heartache in the future. You will become more relationally intelligent as a result of listening.

5. Guided meditation CD to help you experience your ideal relationship now: I can not say enough about this particular guided mediation CD. It is truly amazing. The guided meditation actually leads you through visualizing and experiencing your healthy, wonderful, ideal relationship. You will experience being transported into the future, where you already have the love you want. This guided meditation is very powerful, very soothing and perfect for practicing the Law of Attraction for your relationship.

In combination, these five guided meditation CDs can be powerful aids for healing your heart and transforming your relationships. I highly recommend them to anyone dealing with relationship issues.

If you find you need support in how to use these meditations to help accelerate your relationship growth, or you would like to be personally guided on how to deeply transform your relationship life so that you can finally have the love you want, I will be glad to support you as your coach.

The Oprah show did a segment yesterday on a new book by M. Gary Neuman called The Truth About Cheating, where he details the research he did about why men cheat.

I did not watch this Oprah segment, but a client sent me an email today alerting me to the free book download. You can go download a free copy of this book until 7 pm PST today, Friday the 12th here.

I have so far read 35 pages of the book and I like it, except for one thing… Now maybe M. Gary Neuman goes into this later in his book, I don’t know yet, and I am sure you will let me know below in the comments, but there’s this…

In his research he discovered that a man will most likely cheat if he feels unappreciated and unloved by his wife. This is absolutely true and I have been telling clients that for years. The reason anyone has an affair is because their needs are not getting met in their primary relationship and most often, these needs are emotional rather than physical.

At the same time, why are women not appreciating the men that then end up cheating? In most cases it’s not because the wife is simply a b-itch, but it’s because the man is behaving badly, is not stepping up to the plate in the marriage, or is not being loving and appreciative of her.

So it’s a vicious cycle. The man stops being as a good a partner he once used to be, or the marriage becomes a family and the man does not step up to his share of the responsibilities and being there. The wife feels less appreciative and loving because she feels less supported, cared for and loved. The man feels less appreciated and eventually may go out and find a girlfriend to make him feel better about himself.

This also applies to long term relationships that are not marriages and also applies to women who end up cheating.

So how are you supposed to negotiate the murky waters of relationships so as to avoid the devastation of cheating in your relationship? I don’t yet know if The Truth About Cheating goes into this, but here is my 4 step plan.

1. Appreciate what you husband/partner is doing for you, your family, around you, regardless of what else he may not be doing. This may be hard, but you would want it done for you, and it will preserve the love in your marriage/relationship.

2. If there are things that bother you about what your partner is doing or not doing, how he/she is treating you or not treating you, ask for change in a loving, respectful way. Ask for change repeatedly if it is important to you.

3. If you need to, get professional help as an individual or a couple to try to help your partner make the changes necessary to help you both be happier with each other. You may also need to make changes to function better in your relationship.

4. If there are problems in your marriage or relationship, things you have repeatedly asked him (or her) to change and the change is not forthcoming, make a choice. Choose between:

(a) Make peace with your partner as he/she is because obviously there is not going to be the change you want. That means you let go of what you want completely and make peace with what is.

(b) Leave because you can not live with the marriage/relationship and your partner the way things are and obviously there is not going to be the change you want

Affairs happen when both partners can not make peace with how things are, but can not leave. The non-cheating partner can not make peace with how she is being treated and retaliates by trying to make her husband feel bad about his unwillingness to change his behavior.

And he does feel bad and can’t live with feeling bad. Instead of encouraging change in him, feeling bad drives him into the arms of another woman.

You may think it should not be this way, but it is.

That is why it is so important to pick a partner who can most naturally give you what you want in a relationship, so that you do not have to pull teeth to get your needs met. If you happen to be single and you want to make sure that your next partner is highly compatible with you, get my Who Do You Need eCourse, which will help you figure out just whom you need to be in a relationship with.

And secondarily, that is why it is so important to deal with relationship problems and issues as soon as they occur, rather than letting them fester and grow worst. I don’t yet know what tips this affair book has for improving marriage, but I am sure they are great. And if you want more good ideas that will work to improve your marriage, take a look at three ebooks I have crated for marriage improvement.

Are you having a hard time believing that you can have a wonderful, deeply satisfying, loving relationship? Do you think thoughts that make it impossible for you to believe that your dreams of true love will ever come true? Do you wish life was different; people were different, so that you can have the relationship you have always dreamed of?

By now you have been exposed to enough ideas about law of attraction to realize that you should think positively. If I told you it would be a good idea to think that you can and will attract the right partner or that you can get more love in your current relationship, you would agree with me.

But you might ask, as many of my clients do, “How can I think positively, when what I see around me are people who are not a good fit for me? How am I ever going to find the kind of relationship I want? How am I ever going get my partner to turn around his or her behavior and love me the way I want to be loved?”

And I will tell you, the way I tell my clients, that you see what you think – NOT see and then think. Something in your past, likely in your childhood, set you up to think that you can’t have love, or that all men or women are this way or that, or that you don’t ever want to get that close to someone, etc. And those thoughts became the things you see. That is why, when you look around, you only see what you already think. And there’s work to be done on changing your mind. And that that’s the kind of work we can do in coaching. Curious about coaching? See here.

But I will also tell you that you need to start retraining your mind to see the world differently, and learn to see what you want to see. The way to do this is to reprogram your thoughts. You need to flood your mind with as much positive information as you can daily. Listen daily to books and courses on positive thinking, the law of attraction, expending your potential, achieving your dreams! Do you work out, commute, grocery shop, vacuum, do the dishes or laundry, needle point, walk? All of these and any other tasks that use your body but not your mind are a great time to feed yourself positive information. Feed your brain messages of possibility so that you can more easily tune into the love you want.

Here are audios I recommend to my clients to feed their brain:

1. A course on creating the life you want. Here is a very powerful audio program to teach you exactly how to attract what you want. It’s not cheap, but well worth every penny and it tops 12 hours of very powerful audio.

2. Get this unabridged audio CD set to learn the ins and out of law of attraction. It is well worth it, even if you have seen the Secret movie or read the book, because you can’t always read or watch, but you can almost always listen. Listen to this audio about 40 times all the way through before you assume you got the information fully.

3. Get this audio cd set to learn what your emotions mean, how to use them to get the love you want, and use them to tap into the law of attraction.

4. Get this program to help you see what a healthy, vital, deeply loving relationship looks like – so that you know what you are going for – and to learn about some of the ways to get there. This particular program is not cheap, but well worth every penny.

With these four courses/audio books, you will have about 40 hours of super-positive, uplifting, brain-feeding and life-changing information. Listen to something on this list daily, for at least 30 to 60 minutes, or add some of your favorite resources to the list. Do this for a month and notice the difference you start to see in the world around you in terms of whom you see and what you begin to believe is possible. And then keep listening.

Go! And below please share other resources that help you think positively and believe you can attract the love of your life or get more love in your relationship.

What’s wrong with your relationship or with your lack of relationship? How miserable are you about what’s wrong? What if what’s wrong brought you happiness instead of misery? Try this: next time you see something is wrong, say “Hmm, I don’t like that. What I would like instead is ….” Take a good long time to describe what you would like instead and bask in the deliciousness of it. You will feel good.

Disclaimer: The following article is for the “other” person in an affair or a love triangle. Before I get a slew of angry email asking me how I can condone affairs, let me just say that affairs and love triangles happen. Being a coach I do not judge people but try to help them. Given that love triangles and affairs happen, the people in these situations need help and support, just like people in any other complicated relationship situation. This article does just that – it offers help and support to the people who need it.

Support for the “Other Person in an Affair: are you the “other” man or woman in an affair and looking for support? Visit NoMoreHeartBreak.com for support.

To be in love with someone who is in a primary relationship or marriage with someone else can be the most excruciating and at the same time the most seemingly beautiful experience of your life.

The experience is excruciating because it is hard to stop or change it. It ensnares you in a situation that you may not be able to get out for a long time, one you may in fact not want to get out of. Your inability to make the situation into exactly what you want makes you suffer.

The experience is beautiful because the person that you are having the relationship with seems like your perfect, ideal partner — your soulmate. There is a very special connection between the two of you. The attention from your loved one and the way he or she feels about you is deeply satisfying. The bond between the two of you seems magical.

In spite of the beauty and the connection in the relationship, you suffer tremendously. It’s as if you are on a roller coaster ride, up one moment and more in love then you have ever been, down the next and in more despair then you have ever felt.

Below you will discover the reasons you are suffering in your relationship and coping strategies to ease your suffering.

#1 Reason for your suffering – you think your loved one is “the one”

At times you want to leave the situation, but you don’t feel you can – you feel your loved one is “the one”, the intended one for you. Not being able to be together with your “the one” all of the time causes you pain. But when you try to leave, you feel agony. The pain of having a part-time relationship is great, the pain of leaving is even greater. The pain you feel when thinking of leaving or trying to leave reaffirms to you that your loved on is in fact “the one”.

Coping strategy to consider: What if this person you are in love with is not “the one”, not your soulmate? What if this relationship is only a step — a big, significant step – but not “the one”? What if you are not trapped in the situation, waiting for your intended one to extricate him- or herself from someone who is not “the one”?

In fact you are not trapped. You feel trapped because you feel the person you are with is “the one”, and that you cannot let him or her go.

How do you know if he or she is “the one”? The pain of trying to leave is not a reliable way to tell. That pain can be attributed to other reasons, such as your deep fear of being alone – which most people have – or how much of your needs are getting met in the relationship and how much you don’t want to let that go.

You will only know looking back if your loved one was “the one” for you. Most people with love triangles in their past say their loved one turned out to not be their soulmate. When the suffering gets to be too much, start to wonder if in fact your loved one is your “intended one.”

#2 Reason for your suffering – you think there won’t be another love after this relationship

You are suffering because this love feels like your only chance at the kind of love that everyone dreams about. Even more, it’s hard to imagine being in a relationship and being satisfied with anyone else.

And so you are trapped.

All of your needs are not getting met in your relationship, yet all the while you are not free, nor do you want to be free, to get them met elsewhere. In fact, you don’t think there could be or will be anyone else to meet your needs in such a way again, to love you this well.

Coping strategy to consider: What if there can be love even deeper than your feelings now, a love where you share ordinary moments with a special person, instead of only special moments stolen in secret?

Start to wonder if the whole package of your needs could be met in another relationship. People do find happy, fulfilling, loving primary relationships.

When the suffering about being alone yet again, at night or on holidays, gets going, focus on the fact that in the future you will have a loving relationship where your needs will be met.

If you need to, say to yourself a thousand times that you will be happy, your heart will be happy and all of your needs will be met. You just don’t know by whom yet.

#3 Reason for your suffering – you stifle your anger

Another reason you may be suffering [click to read more…]

Support for the “Other Person in an Affair: are you the “other” man or woman in an affair and looking for support? Visit NoMoreHeartBreak.com for support.