Love Coach Blog

Divorce can be a devastating ordeal, and recovering from divorce can be a difficult, treacherous road. Sometimes people don’t recover at all. Others, although appearing to be past their divorce, still carry the pain of the breakup and the fear of getting close to a partner again.

A breakup of a non marital relationship can be just as devastating as a divorce. The pain can be intense even if the relationship did not last a long time.

Below are 10 ways to help you recover from a divorce or breakup, get your life back on track, and guarantee a bright relationship future for yourself. These steps will show you how to heal deeply and re-create your life and your relationships to be far more fulfilling then before the breakup.

1. Grieve deeply and completely.

Many times people are terrified of their dark feelings, such as sadness, depression, anger, etc. The intensity of these feelings can seem strong enough to take hold of your soul completely. But you need to know that although these feelings are indeed strong, they will not last forever. Nor will feeling these feelings in some way damage you or destroy you. You will feel better once you allow yourself to feel.

On the other hand, if you do not feel the dark feelings arising in you as a result of the breakup, they will last forever and will deeply affect your life and future relationships.

Go ahead and feel your feelings. Feel the anger, the sadness, the betrayal, the confusion. Avoid going into your head and obsessing instead of feeling. Avoid overeating or using other addictions to escape your feelings.

This is your dark night of the soul, the time to dip into your feelings. Feel your feelings now, and you will be free to move on with your life post-divorce or post-breakup.

2. Grieve for the future of your marriage/relationship, which now will never be.

When people come together in a commitment, many dreams and hopes are created. These are not simple to let go of, because we use dreams and hopes to guide us to our future. Look into what dreams and hopes you had created for your relationship. Then separately grieve for each one.
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I bet you are in dire need of a holiday gift giving guide that won’t drive you insane with mall and hi-tech store shopping and will help and improve the life of your gift recipient. For the first time ever, I present to you the Love Coach’s Holiday Gift Giving Guide. In this gift guide you will find gifts that will keep on giving by improving the quality of life and the relationships of those you love - all under $30.

1. Give the gift of time

I know you have heard this a million times – give time. It’s frugal; it’s smart, blah, blah, blah. But you have no time, you say. And I hear you.

Yet, the reason you are shopping for someone, scouring the web or the mall for the perfect gift is because you love the person(s). And they/he/she loves you. There is a relationship there. And there is no relationship without time together. Your kid(s) or your spouse or partner may want that thing you are going to buy him or her, but what is needed is time together with you, your full focus and attention.

Here is a handy dandy website to make gift certificates for time together. Go do it now and you can have the perfect gift done in 5 minutes flat!

2. The gift of music

This gift may not make a huge difference in a life, but this music is so sweet, I had to include it in this list.

A little known classical guitarist friend of mine has put out a CD of classical guitar romantic music. He is a virtuoso on the guitar and the music is wonderful, uplifting, with an almost other worldly quality. Perfect for those cold nights with the fireplace roaring, or to calm someone’s nerves after braving the office or the mall. A great stocking stuffer! Find his Romantic Evening CD at www.spectormusic.com. You can sample the music right there at his website.

3. Give books

Good books are always a good gift and if you buy online, they will come right to your door. Gotta love that.
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