Love Coach Blog

Is your relationship or marriage gasping for breath? Well, before you leave or stray to find a third person to meet your needs, try these steps to breathe life back into your relationship:

1. Find out which one of you is avoiding love and intimacy, and why

Who spends more time avoiding the other, making excuses for why you spend no time together or picking fights so that there is no time together? If one or both of you do this, you need to find out why.

Talk to each other in an honest, non-argumentative, non-judgmental way to see if you can figure out why you are trying to get away from each other instead of trying to get closer to each other. After all, you got into the relationship to be close, not to be distant.

Closeness will feed your heart and make you happy, while being distant saps your energy. Closeness may feel risky, but being distant will kill the relationship. Choose closeness.

To learn how to have a non-judgmental, non-argumentative conversation with each other get the Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship ecourse.

2. Start planning time together that both of you are obligated to show up for

Yes, planned time together sounds unromantic and unspontaneous. Neither one of you will get the thrill of being swept off your feet. But if your relationship is in the dumps
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Last Coaching Session of Love Coaching Social Experiment - watch me coach Jodi, a single, bright, beautiful, late-thirty-something lady to help her attract the man of her dreams – reality TV style, right in front of your eyes and ears.

Read full introduction to this social experiment, follow the links from there to previous coaching sessions and then back to this post.

A while back asked Jodi to go get a book at the bookstore, read it and start doing the exercises in it. The purpose was to give her what she is missing and the reason she doesn’t have love in her life – the experience of being loved.

The first week she was waiting for the book to get to her library. At the end of that week I told her to go get the book at the bookstore. While there, she got another book instead, one that helps her mind but does nothing for her heart. Jodi talks about her struggle to get the right book in this post.

In general coaching has been hard on Jodi because she didn’t think we would do anything deep in coaching, and here we are, having gotten to the bottom of her issues. Jodi talks about her struggle with what’s coming up for her here.

In my last coaching to Jodi I asked her what she would be willing to do to move herself forward in dealing with her relationship issues. Her first answer was to come clean with what’s been going on in her relationships.

This is a good, honest answer and yet, if she wants to get what she came into coaching for – love in her life – she will have to do more. She will have to find a way to take daily action towards growing herself into a warm, open, and connected person.

You see, at the very core, Jodi’s issue is that
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