Love Coach Blog

Coaching Session #9 of Love Coaching Social Experiment – Opening the Heart. Watch me coach Jodi, a single, bright, beautiful, late-thirty-something lady to help her attract the man of her dreams – reality-tv style, right in front of your eyes and ears.

Read the full introduction to this social experiment, follow the links from there to previous coaching sessions and then back to this post.

Jodi is feeling melancholic and my heart goes out to her. She is realizing what has not worked in her life and that wherever she goes, there she is, the consequences of her choices in tow.

Take a look at her two posts about how she’s feeling and what she is dealing with and then come back here and read my coaching to her.

I have good news for Jodi. No matter what our past looks like, we can be redeemed. From any point in one’s life a person can create a life he or she truly loves. So, Jodi, you will have what you want even though you have not created a love life you want, or even a life you love, as of yet.

I know you feel sad about the past – lonely and empty – and you are afraid it will always be like this for you. So how can I say that life will be different for you soon, that your heart will open and you will have real love?
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Does the quest for love, and the issues we bring to the table when it comes to love, change and get easier with time and age?

You would think so, and the conventional wisdom says so. The conventional wisdom says people mature and get wiser with age and over time, naturally opening up more to others and learning how to have better relationships. However, this is not what I find when I look out into the world of singles and relationships, observe the media and work with clients.

What I find is this: Those people who started out with good relationship and self-introspection skills get better at these skills with age and time. But those people who didn’t start out with a good set of relationship and self-introspection skills do not get better at relationships. They want to, desperately so, but it just doesn’t happen for them no matter how much they age or how much time passes.

I just got an email from a 60 plus year old gentleman requesting relationship help because he and a lady he was dating rushed into a romance very quickly and now the lady is pulling away. He doesn’t know what to do. I get the same kind of email from 20 year olds, 30 year olds and so on down the line.
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I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I do have some favorite shows, such as Gilmore Girls and Desperate Housewives. On Saturday night I seldom watch TV, but last night I just had to tune it.

Earlier in the week I noticed an advertisement for a new show called Modern Men, where a Life Coach portrayed by Jane Seymour was going to coach three young men on what to do about their love life.

Honestly I was almost afraid to watch the show, cringing as it began, as I worried about the Life Coach being portrayed as flaky, goofy, air headed, or worst. To my pleasant surprise, she wasn’t any of that. She was portrayed as successful, smart and people-savvy. She gave the guys on the show great advice – be gut-level honest with women and amazing things will happen.

Bravo WB for picking up the show, and kudos to the writers of the show for speaking to what men really have to do to make women happy.

I am not sure the acting will make the show a hit, however it is well worth watching for the lessons in relationships and for what Life and Love Coaching can do for you.

Did you know you too can have your own Love and Life Coach? That would be me. Take a look at my coaching page for more information.

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Love Coaching Social Experiment - watch Love Coach Rinatta Paries coach Jodi, a single, bright, beautiful, late-thirty-something lady, to help her attract the man of her dreams – reality-tv style, right in front of your eyes and ears. Coaching Session #8 - “The hole and what to do about it.”

Read the full introduction to this social experiment, follow the links from there to previous coaching sessions and then back to this post.

Jodi was on vacation for a week and when she came back she put up a number of posts that I will address in this coaching session.

Read Jodi’s first post in this series about what happened on her vacation regarding connecting with her kids, and then come back here to read my coaching to her.

Jodi said: “My sons and I had some great quality time. I tried to get them to open up to me about their feelings about our family situation, past and present. They don’t seem to know life any different and are accepting. I am finding it difficult to open up but it is not surprising. I am doing the best I can.”

Love Coach Rinatta says: Jodi, kids can’t articulate deep emotional experiences, however, you bet they were affected by what happened in your family. With children, emotional healing is often a one-way street. They may not know that anything was different, but if you acknowledge the pain they felt at the time, if you apologize for it, it will make a difference for them. You just have to trust that you are making an emotional difference.

More importantly, you have to help them heal from being abandoned by you. And you do that by being emotionally present for them, even if they find it weird and uncomfortable and silly. You and I have already talked about how to do that. If you need to
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