Love Coach Blog

Holidays are here. How are they going for you this year? Will you end up stressed, tired, and both emotionally and financially overextended? Or will you end the holidays and start the new year joyful, rested, relaxed, fulfilled, and happy? Will you spend the holidays bemoaning the fact that you are single or that your relationship is not working, or that something else is not working; or will you use the holidays to improve the situations that bug you?

Here is my advice for a sweet, calm, nourishing holiday season:

1. It’s not going to be perfect

I’ve known people who can pull off the perfect holiday season and enjoy every minute of it. They give just the right gifts, always wrapped with precision. They throw just the right holiday dinners and cocktail parties, always looking just right. They mingle and celebrate and still have plenty of energy left for everything else in their lives.

If you are like this and are able to do any or all of the above happily, without causing you or your loved ones stress, congratulations.

I think most of us, however, try to live up to this image of perfection during the holiday season and either fail or end up miserable and stressed.

Why does our gift-giving list have to be huge? Why do we have to overextend ourselves emotionally and financially? Why do we have to rush, stay busy, and not enjoy the moment?

The answers are many.
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Many couples go through struggles, fights, problems, issues and almost get to the brink of a break-up or divorce. Yet they love each other, are attached to each other, or are not ready to give up on what may be true love. This is a good thing – it’s good to keep trying to make love work.

But how do you get the “trying again” right and how do you survive the in-between time, when the relationship is not yet working exactly as both of you would like?
Here are the steps and activities the couple must engage in for the “trying again” to be successful. You will also find the actions each person should take by him/herself to survive while the relationship is being repaired.

Do this for the “trying again” to work:

1. Figure out what went wrong in your relationship. For this to work both of you must honestly look at what you did to get your relationship to its current state. It’s better that each of you try to take more of the blame rather than less of the blame. All defensiveness must be set aside, all excuses thrown out the window, so you can look honestly at what happened.

If you want help

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